Hey You,
so, how’s life? i also not quite sure how to describe how my life is now… when asked, i’ll just do the normal reply, “am quite alrite”.. but seriously.. with all the things that are happening around me, i really don’t know how to respond to them anymore.. feeling really weak, and powerless.. feel like just to ignore all of the things and get on with my own life.. but yet i couldn’t, i guess they do have tight bonds inside me… and what my life would have been without them.. can’t imagine it.. but yet it’s really hard to face them and to respond to all the things that is happening.. why o Lord that my life has to be this way? why o Lord that i can’t just have a happy family like everyone does.. sure do had some jealousy looking at people with their family… although they may not be happy all the time, if not one or two quarrels, they sure do are together most of the time.. i guess that’s what i’m just asking for… just being able to be together.. just able to live in harmony.. just go through the days together…
some of you might have known about me thoroughly, but i guess most of you have not… so i think i shall be a lil more transparent here.. i might have been a happy go lucky optimistic sarcastic and wonderful outside, but it’s really an irony, coz in the inside, when times alone like this, i’m also just another person with broken heart, all confused, all emotional, someone that just wanna run away, and just leave all the not so happy things behind… but i couldn’t.. and yet i couldn’t do much to repair what is going on… it’s really out of my power to do so.. one thing just come after another… one by one just had to make her heart worried for.. one by one just have to make her unhappy… one by one just contributes to her sickness.. all i could say is that i loved her, but yet i can’t do much to lighten her worries and sickness.. the impact of others is just too great on her.. her is grandma… i guess i could just pray for her, and all things that i’m going through..
sometimes really do feel so broken from all these.. and couldn’t continue this journey anymore… but i know He is watching over all this that is happening.. i know that i could find hope in Him when everything else seems to be hopeless.. and i know that His love for me does lift me up in moments like this… and am grateful and am thankful~
am starting my journey to find my genuine faith in Him (some may have known it as gf).. i don’t know how am going to do this, or how long will i take, but i guess it’s a journey i must walk myself.. only then i could find what i’m looking for ……….. genuine faith!
- though the world seems to forget, we will not forget who You are and what You’ve done for us -
It’s okay.. Really! Each time you are feeling sad and dissapointed, remember that you are not alone. And He wont put you through what you cannot bear. =) take care!
Stay strong ya? smile! =)